Preparing for the big ask—whether for a higher salary or a deserved promotion—is one of the most important things you can do to advance your career. Yet I’ve repeatedly seen in our Women in Leadership and Learning Program (WILL), as well as our other leadership training and executive coaching, that women lack confidence and conviction in their negotiating skills.
In my book, It’s Not a Glass Ceiling, It’s a Sticky Floor, I called out statistics from a study that surveyed 2,500 women and found that nearly half the women had not asked for a raise, additional benefits, or resources in the past 12 months. The study also indicated that 72 percent of those who did ask got it! I also learned that most leaders or managers expect us to ask and are surprised we don’t.
The good news is, once women have adopted the right framework to approach this critical skill, many executive leaders and emerging leaders experience a breakthrough in their effectiveness and achieve success in negotiating. If you’re getting ready to ask for what you want, take some time to absorb SHAMBAUGH’s negotiation framework below, which is based on creating a win-win for you and the party you’re negotiating with:
First, Think About What They Want
It may seem counterintuitive to begin your negotiation preparations drilling down into what your boss or company wants—but that’s the best way to achieve what you want as well. Ensuring that those with whom you’re negotiating leave the table happy opens the door to a positive outcome not only for them, but for you. With this in mind, the first step of your prep should be to think about who you’re negotiating with, and what their goals and needs are. If you can make a solid case that granting your request will serve their interests and address their concerns, they’ll be much more likely to say yes—which is the essence of a successful win-win.
Arm Yourself with Evidence
If you clear this first hurdle and can show your counterpart how you can both do well by honoring your request, then the next step is to be ready to back up your case. If the conversation is about salary, for example, then you need to enter the negotiation with facts and figures to support the number you’re asking for. By doing your homework ahead of time and documenting what the pay trends are in your industry for your title, level, and location, you’ll be able to make a much more convincing argument. If you layer that research with some quantitative evidence of your specific value to the company in your role based on your achievements, ideas, and potential, this can help to convince a tough crowd that you’re worth the additional investment.
Have a Happy Medium in Mind
Hopefully you won’t need a Plan B because your initial appeal gets accepted. But in the event that it isn’t, it’s smart to think in advance about a backup plan. While this fallback option isn’t your top preference, getting something is still better than leaving the negotiation empty handed. If you hear “no” to your first request, then consider a “happy medium” between what you’re requesting and what might actually be obtainable. An example might be requesting an additional benefit or more paid time off if you learn that there’s no budget this quarter for raises.
Be Curious About the Other Party—Don’t Jump to Assumptions
In the first strategy above, I recommended taking a collaborative approach with a goal of getting to a win-win when asking for what you want. One thing that helps you do this is approaching your negotiation with curiosity, rather than assuming you know what the other party wants and how they’ll answer. Avoid making an ask that leaves them to say yes or no in a black and white way, which could leave you facing a closed door. Instead, build a bridge between their concerns and interests and your request by keeping an open mind and exploring what they want during your negotiation. Ask open-ended questions to explore their view, and use phrases that imply joint benefit such as: How can we make this work for both of us? How would you define success? Find the right balance between listening, asking questions, and then getting to the answer.
If you or your team have experiences with negotiating that you’d like to share or questions you’d like to ask about this topic, please reach out to me at info@shambaughleadership.com.
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Rebecca Shambaugh is a recognized author and speaker on leadership best practices. She is president of SHAMBAUGH Leadership, founder of Women in Leadership and Learning, and author of the bestselling books It’s Not a Glass Ceiling, It’s a Sticky Floor and Make Room for Her: Why Companies Need an Integrated Leadership Model to Achieve Extraordinary Results.